Luminiferous Aether

fractured_light @ 2006-03-20T18:15:00

2006-03-20T19:15:38Z

Took some time out of my oh-so-exciting life and made a few Mary McDonnell icons...

Teasers:

All credit is on my userinfo page. Also thanks to solonia for providing the picture for number 1
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1. 2. 3.
4. 5. 6.
7. 8. 9.

And as far as 6 goes... well I did say I was going to icon the skirt... :p

omg!ficspam!

2006-03-16T19:13:05Z

I posted (another fic) up at adama_roslin. I think you can guess who this one is about. ;)

NOW BACK TO MY ESSAY.

Gah! I need a switch to put me into study mode.

fractured_light @ 2006-03-16T14:04:00

2006-03-16T14:52:26Z

Since I've got my first icon post out of the way now I figured it was time to do the same thing with my first fic post.

Everything I write at the moment tends to be Laura-centric (of course) and probably depressing.

I'm really bad with warnings, I never know what should be classified as what (I don't work for the BBFC after all) but I rarely write anything that would be considered 'adult'. I have tried but I'm not good with 'teh sex' ;)

It's only a tiny ficlet (because I'm too lazy to write anything longer) and also stream-of-consciousness (because I'm too lazy to write in third person).

Spoiler-wise it's pretty light, just Laura's illness (which I'm sure everyone knows about) and it's set somewhere around the middle of Season 2 (Resurrection Ship probably) although that has no bearing on it.

Anyway please do read if you've got the time and feel free to flame/praise as you see fit. I'd rather comments were on the critical side because I want to get better. :o)

Title: Sleep
Author: fractured_light
Rating: PG (I guess)
Summary: "Sometimes I think if the cancer weren’t killing me I would destroy myself from grief anyway."
Feedback: Would be helpful to me and also gratefully received.
Spoilers: Up to Resurrection Ship (but barely really)
Disclaimer: Only mine in my head.

Sleep

I close my eyes and I want to scream.

The darkness rushes in on me and I feel lost, marooned in space and time. The great vacuum that swallows me purges everything but the fear which seems to grow and expand in the thick black fog of my mind. I hate it. I’m frightened of it.

Every evening as Billy helps me to bed I have to suppress the little voice in my head whimpering, “Please… oh, please don’t leave me alone”. I feel like a child weary of night terrors. Sleep is no longer the refuge it once was and now my dreams are full of haunting imagery and scenes of death, so much death.

The void I’m falling into grows ever wider and deeper. Soon my world will be engulfed and nobody will be able to save me. And I want so very much to be saved.

I don’t care that it’s selfish. I don’t care what the Gods said. I don’t care that we may never reach Earth. I just want to live.

I just want to live.

And as they do every night, the tears come, slipping silently from my eyes and soaking the pillow. Sometimes I think if the cancer weren’t killing me I would destroy myself from grief anyway. Grief, guilt and fear. My three constant companions.

I have nothing else except this power I never wanted and am now too weak to wield.

I have nobody at all except people who rely on me for so many things I’m too tired to even remember let alone provide.

Although at least the complete exhaustion dulls the relentless pain like no drug ever could. Even now I can feel myself drifting into sleep and I want it to be silent, I want it to be uneventful. A brief respite from this slow burning demonstration of mortality I’m being forced to endure.

If you’ll give me nothing else at least grant me this.

But I’m sure they don’t hear me and tonight will be like all the others. All alone in the dark, the deep dark, devoid of warmth and comforting caresses. That’s my future.

Every living thing…

A/N I stole the 'deep dark' line from Virginia Woolf and the last line is a reference to Donnie Darko (but I'm sure you knew that)

If anyone likes this then I'll try my hand at other fics (maybe even longer ones... yeah right). Also I wasn't kidding when I said I wanted to get better so if anyone would be willing to be my beta reader that would be most excellent. (And I wouldn't worry there won't be much work... I don't turn out many fics at all. Too. Damn. Lazy)

fractured_light @ 2006-03-13T00:02:00

2006-03-13T00:48:43Z

Okay, wow, my first icon post. Ever!

They are almost entirely Laura because I love her and she's just so damn pretty.

I've only done nine (that I thought were good enough to show anyway) because I'm new at this and progress is painstakingly slow.

Everything used to make these was taken from various places - too many to list so all credit is on my userinfo page.

Teasers:

The rest are behind the cut

1. 2. 3.
4. 5. 6.
7. 8. 9.

The lyrics used on 1 are from Colorblind by Counting Crows and the lyrics on 6 are from When Somebody Turns You On by Heather Nova.

As I said before I'm just learning to 'icon' at the moment so these are all just me trying out different styles. I'd love it if you'd comment and tell me what you think though (even if it is all bad).

And so it begins...

2006-03-12T20:00:45Z

So I finally caved and got a Livejournal account.

After being a somewhat permanent lurker since 2003 I figured it was about time I actually joined in.

The fangirl in me (that would be somewhere around the 93% mark) demanded it and so what could I do. (The reason I never got an account before now is because I already have another blog - that I neglect as it is - and so I didn't think I had time for LJ.) But oh well... screw it.

Besides I really wanted to learn how to make icons and other assorted 'fannish' things and LJ is clearly the best place to get better at that. (At the expense of my university work but I'd just like to repeat the 'screw it' comment.)